Onapito Ekomoloit: Remembering the Life of a Luminary Extraordinaire

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why. This is one of my favorite quotes from the legendary writer Samuel Langhorne Clemens (a.k.a Mark Twain)

Another reason why these words strike a resounding chord with me is that they remind me of the life of a remarkable man. To the world, Onapito Ekomoloit was an accomplished journalist, writer, statesman, mentor, and corporate titan. To me however, he was papa. L’apolon (elder) was what I preferred to call him. I felt it was more befitting.

L’apolon used every opportunity to talk about living purposefully. Although it’s been exactly one year to the day since he passed, his WhatsApp status still reads, “It’s better to die for something than to live for nothing.” A deafening reminder of what he strongly believed in. Indeed, he was a man who dedicated his life to selflessly and purposefully serving humanity.

“The great and glorious legacy of a human being is to live with purpose.”

Robin Sharma

He always celebrated his father and mother – my grandparents. Although I never met my grandmother, it always felt like she was alive. He spoke so passionately about her. It was because of her unwavering sacrifices that I am here today.

As I mark one year since papa passed, I thought I would share a biography he wrote of his mother in 2016. May his legacy live on, and may his soul rest in eternal peace.

***

A local chief’s daughter who changed the world: The life and times of Nora Abuin (1931-1974)

Onapito Ekomoloit

“Royal” birth

Fais Nora Abuin was born in 1931 to the equivalent of royalty in the rocky plains of Kadok, Kobiun in present day Ngora District. Back then it was Ngora County in colonial Teso District.

Her father Yairo Onyait was born in the late 19th century. Onyait reportedly inherited chieftainship. He was, therefore, well positioned to be appointed the area local agent of Semei Kakungulu, the famous Muganda agent who helped the British subdue much of eastern and northern Uganda. 

Onyait was a sub-county chief under Kakungulu. It was a very powerful position. It came with largesse, highlighted to this day by a palatial home the chief built in his Kadoki village in 1929. The home was the peoples’ palace of sorts, crawling with court jesters and servants.  The chief’s dependents were so many that they would be notified of meal time by the sounding a drum.  The chief’s home served also as the village church. He devotedly ensured everyone in the village attended Christian prayers, morning and evening. 

Chief Onyait, however, like the Old Testament King Solomon, was an avid polygamist. No surviving descendant can say with certainty how many wives the chief had.  Some were given to him as “gifts” by subordinate chiefs when he visited them. Other new wives were relatives of old wives who were happy to bring their own too into privileged household. What all accounts confirm is that Onyait had dozens of wives. Between them they begot the chief no less than 40 children by the time he died in 1946. Quite a number of the wives remained childless.

While the chief had many wives the children did not have vocabulary of “step mother”, “step sister” or “step brother.” All the chief’s children were simply brothers and sisters. All children and mothers slept in the multi-roomed house. 

Margaret Sakale, a tall and light skinned girl, from Odwarat, a village five kilometers from Kadoki, was one of chief Onyait’s early wives. She bore him three children: Wilson Opolot, Fais Nora Abuin and Baale. As soon as she was able to walk Abuin melt into the social web of the huge family.  It shaped her into a happy and accommodating woman. 

Meanwhile, the chief made it also a point to share out the responsibility of raising his children with his extended family. It was a common practice in Teso then for parents to give children to their aunties or uncles to raise virtually as their own. There was wisdom to it because it banished the notion of parents spoiling a child, a common family affliction today. Under a relative, a child learnt the virtue of work, often under an iron fist. It would today perhaps be wrongly termed child labour and abuse. 

Young Abuin perhaps needed this reality check most. As a child, she had a tendency of being a cry baby softy and dodging children manual chores. She was more at ease in the company of older people, enjoying their conversation. Perhaps little wonder that she was banished to a relative sooner than later. Abuin was sent to the care of a cousin to chief Onyait, one Ija Ileya, She was married in Malera, Bukedea, some 40 kilometers away from the chief’s home. 

Modest Education

Abuin started her education in Malera, attending primary one and two in 1941 and 1942. Her stay in Malera was short-lived. It, however, left Abuin with life-long lessons in hard work. 

Abuin returned to her father’s home in 1943, and joined the famous Ngora Girls School. The school was founded by the Church Missionary Society (CMS) in 1928 to pioneers the education of Ateso girls.

Abuin was a brilliant pupil in class, as evidenced by her catching elder brother Opolot. The two were sharing a class by the time Abuin was in primary six. 

Early Tragedies

Her education progress, however, appears to have been ruined because events at home, which slowly been unraveling around Abuin, took a darker turn. It started with the death of her young sister Baale around 1939, aged about eight years. Then her mother’s marriage to the chief got strained. The chief ostracized Sakale back to her parent’s home in Odwarat.

Abuin might have soldiered on in school even without a mother. However, two mega tragedies in quick succession completely turned her world upside. Abuin’s only surviving sibling and beloved brother Opolot was apparently murdered on 18th September, 1946. Aged between 18 and 20 years then, Opolot was a hot blooded lad. He appears to have been hit on head during a night brawl within the village.

As Abuin was still taking in the blow of her brother’s death, the ill health of her father, who was already paralysed by a back ailment, worsened. The father is said to have wailed for days on his sick bed the son. Chief Onyait too died soon after the son in 1946.

Devastated, frustrated and perhaps lonely, Abuin called it quits with school while in primary six.  All efforts by the uncles to beat her back to class were in vain. Infuriated, the uncles decided since Abuin didn’t want school, she was therefore ripe for marriage. It was one arranged for her. The man chosen was rich—which meant having many cows the standard mark of wealth in Teso. He was already polygamous, which was not odd, but also elderly.

Abuin would not have any of it. She decided in 1947 to strike out on her own for a living.  

Her stop was Ngora Freda Carr, a missionary hospital, located a walking distance from their home.

Her modest education notwithstanding, the hospital found Abuin impressive enough to work as a nursing assistant. A whole new world had opened for Abuin and there was no turning back.

Finding love

Tall, slender and light skinned—a prized mark of beauty among the largely dark Iteso—Abuin strode the corridors of the hospital in crisp uniform, in an eye-catching fashion. One medical assistant in-between attending to patients, could not take his eyes off her.

John Onapito, a handsome six plus footer, who also starred in the hospital football team, was the man.

Onapito, who hailed from Aciisa village, only five kilometers from Kadok made his move for Abuin. One thing led to another and soon they were married in a colourful Teso customary marriage. 

Hezekiah Anguria, Onapito’s father led his entourage from Aciisa to bring dowry of cattle to the late chief Onyait’s home. It was now headed by his younger brother Leuben Enacu, who worked as a sub-county clerk.  By the time Abuin was handed over to Onapito officially in marriage, the two had already in 1948 quickly produced a son.  They named him John Stephen Onapito, after the father.

The newly married young couple’s joy in having their first born and son was nearly cut short during marriage ceremony. According to Iteso tradition any child born before dowry was paid belonged to the mother’s family, though it was patriarchal society. Abuin’s people, therefore, wanted to retain baby Onapito as their own because he was born before dowry was paid.   

John Onapito’s father Anguria and his team would not hear any of it. They were ready to pay more cows to have their son. The Anguria household wanted children more desperately than the Onyaits.

As fate would have it, John Onapito like Abuin was the only child of his mother by the time they married. His case was actually more precarious. Unlike Abuin, he was not just the only surviving child, but also the only one born to his mother Abisaki Acam in 1925. Moreover, though his father had another wife, she too had only one child: A girl.

The Anguria household was very keen to add children to their stable very fast. Fortunately, they won the fight for young Onapito; partly because he was a splitting image of his father.

John Onapito took his wife to Aciisa to celebrations by the Ikomolo clan from who he hailed. It was a one-way journey though for them from Freda Carr Hospital.  The missionary administrators of the hospital dismissed both of them from service. Onapito, like virtually every Etesot then, had just become polygamous. The missionaries considered polygamy unchristian.

Children and more children

Abuin and her fellow wife to Onapito, Lucy Amongin, a native of Kanyumu in nearby Kumi County, settled in Aciisa to the main family business—producing children. Onapito switched to working for the secular government medical service. He moved from Ngora to Kyere Health Centre in Serere County, where Abuin joined him on a more permanent basis around 1954.

By then the two wives of Onapito had given him a combined seven children already; three girls for Amongin (Eseza Acam, Rhoda Amangat and Betty Kedi), and four boys for Abuin (John Stephen Onapito; Justin Anguria, Joseph Michael Okello and David Oluka).

With an expanding family, John Onapito appears to have desired to separate his home into two geographically spread out units. This plan was on Onapito’s mind as he was transferred to Wera Health centre in Amuria County in northern Teso. With the encouragement of other natives from Ngora who had settled in Wera, Onapito bought land in Asalatap village, Angole parish, Wera, in 1956.

For some time, Onapito lived only with Abuin and her children in Asalatap, while Amongin stayed back in Aciisa. However, the power of love could not allow for the distance. Amongin too moved to Wera.

Championing education 

It was in Wera where Abuin earned her place as the matriarch of the Onapito family. Belying her status as a primary six drop out, she approached the education of her children with zealously. She was a nonsense mother towards any child who took school lightly. Abuin had actually started the education promotion drive in Aciisa.  Combining forces with her father-in-law, Anguria, while the husband was away at work, Abuin ensured her first born stayed in school. John Onapito, perhaps taking advantage of the father’s absence, attempted to refuse school while attending Kobuin primary school. His mother and grandfather had to beat the hell out of him; tie his hands behind the back like a chicken thief, and then march him to class three kilometres away.

Abuin brought the same passion to the education of her children when they moved to Wera. She employed a carrot and stick strategy.  On the stick side, it was literal with those not showing seriousness with school getting it hot. 

Ikoto ijo aisub eong (do you want to become like me? “were her common words of refrain to a school dodger.

On the carrot side Abuin was, for example, the epitome of a dotting and loving mother on school visitation. Her first born Stephen Onapito went to Teso College Aloet. The mother would visit him at school in the mid-60s to take emaido lo iwowatai (roasted groundnuts); the number one school snack in Teso.

Perhaps the love contributed to his becoming a star student. Onapito was the school’s best student in the university entry exams (A-level) in his year. He notably got a golden handshake from then President Milton Obote who visited the school in 1968.  Onapito used the prize money to build a three-roomed iron-roofed house.

Abuin shared the burden of school costs with her husband, largely with earnings from brewing and selling ajon (traditional millet brew); also fondly called acowa Iteso (the genius of Iteso).

Planning for her boys

Meanwhile, Abuin was not oblivious to the fact that she had in a row produced only boys. Her first daughter Alice Acabat, finally born in 1956, was the fifth child. Acabat too was, however, quickly followed by another boy, George William Okanya a.k.a. Iwili. 

Boy children were highly prized and the envy of every woman in a traditional Iteso household, especially a polygamous one. Having a boy meant continuity of the patriarchal lineage. It gave also the mother a chance of producing emusika (family heir), a right then reserved for boys. 

Yet having only boys posed its own challenges. One, they would need land of their own to set up homesteads. Secondly, tradition had it that every boy married using cows brought into the family as dowry for a sister. In other words, a sister got married before a brother, even if she was younger.

With her four boys then (one Justin Anguria died young) all fast towering into adulthood, Abuin had to think on her feet. She had to figure out how they would marry with no matching dowry from sisters. She was actually touted over the issue. Abuin took it in jest but did not leave things to chance or her husband.

With savings from brewing ajon, after taking out school costs, Abuin started buying cows for her boys. And like today’s progressive woman who has an account separate from the husband’s, she decided to keep the cows away from the family kraal. It was a reserve for rainy days when the boys would need wives. May be she also did not want the boys to be complacent with their education by knowing there were cows in the kraal, if marriage became the alternative. Abuin decided to aijokor (take away temporally to a friend’s kraal) her cows to one Egemu; a kilometre away from the Onapito home. Egemu, nicknamed ikweny( the bird) because of his effortless swimming prowess was  a jolly village mate known for his excellent cattle keeping skills. Sadly, he was years later to face a brutal end. His decomposing body was found in the bushes a week after he had gone missing. He was allegedly killed as a revenge act. The alleged killers, though related to Egemu, were bitter that his sons had killed one of their own for being a village chicken thief. 

Not only did Abuin buy cows in anticipation of her boys’ marriage needs, she also set about getting additional land for the family. Her major land move came when part of the land of a neighbor, Tom Egayu, was auctioned. Abuin paid the court brokers and added a dozen acres to the family land.

Facing “the Promised land”

While Abuin was making contingency plans for her boys, each passing day, however, brought the happy realization that they were actually headed for a much different life. One by one, they were scaling the heights of education. They were unlikely to rely on having cows to marry or need much land for survival.

The ever enterprising Abuin then turned her attention to making her homestead suitable for the elitism that beckoned due to the education success. After all was she not a daughter of a chief; one who grew up in a palatial iron-roofed bungalow? She did not find it fitting to continue living in grass-thatched houses.

One evening in the mid-60s, as they sipped ajon, Abuin challenged her husband to build an iron-roofed house. The husband muttered something but was not conclusive in his respond. Pillow talk later must have motivated him, and expedited the plan. Within a week brick making for the first family iron-roofed house in Wera started. The end result was a three-roomed bungalow, with a huge sitting room.  It had a shinny cement floor whose ruins can still be spotted in the family compound to this day. 

All seemed to move seamlessly for Abuin. She even managed to reconnect with her mother sakale who would come spend quality time with her grandchildren in Wera, her disability notwithstanding. Similarly, while her father may have died decades back, the Onyait family was flourishing far and wide from Adoki.  Many of Abuin’s sisters (step sisters in today’s speak) who persevered with education largely worked in the medical field as nurses. Many such as Deborah Adongo, Felister Adongo, Elizabeth Akurut, Constance Among and Ketula Kiyai worked in Soroti Hospital.  Though all from different wives of Onyait, they lived and worked as a team.  Abuin’s Wera was only 25 kilometres from Soroti so she too was frequently in the company of her sisters. Whenever Abuin took her children for treatment at the hospital, the sisters would commandeer her to their houses for days. They too would visit her in Wera. 

It was still one big happy family of chief Onyait.  

Meanwhile, two of Abuin’s brothers, again from different mothers, had too migrated to Wera. At the same time, they worked in the Wera local admiration. John Okalebo, an extremely funny man, was the sub-county Health Inspector. He rode on his bicycle from home to home humorously preaching hygiene, especially having latrines, bath sheds and utensils sheds.

The other brother, Joseph Oreet, worked as ekalani lo otem (sub-county Clerk). It was a rather powerful position, but I have never figured out what it involved.

Perhaps the icing on the cake for Abuin maiden family was having one of the brothers sort of follow in the father’s footsteps of leadership. Mathew Obado, a police officer, rose to become the Minister of Internal Affairs in the second Idi Amin cabinet, named in 1974.

Dark Clouds Gather   

With a large loving family and an expanded brood of children—she ended up with eleven—many of whom were trail blazing in education, Abuin was clearly a woman set to go places. It was never to be.

Like the biblical Moses, Abuin had admiringly led her young family to the precipice of greatness, but she would not see the Promised Land. 

The jury is still out, but she may have paid the ultimate price for the fruits of her womb.  Abuin started ailing around 1965, complaining of chronic general body pains and loss of appetite. She was in and out of hospital. Her nurse sisters in Soroti hospital helped her get the best medical attention of the time. Back home in Wera, Abuin put up a brave face and maintained her daily chores, including cultivating, though the pain was debilitating.

Abuin’s health took a turn for the worst via a family tragedy. She was heavy with her ninth child. One of her sisters, Loyce Oucokol, married in Agirigiroi, Kapir, Ngora lost a husband. The deceased, A.D. Ilelit, a tailor with Soroti prisons, died on April 26, 1966. Abuin, despite her heavy pregnancy and pains, promptly moved from Wera and was by the bereaved sister’s side.

Death back then seemed a rare occurrence, and any would be known by all within a radius of 40 kilometres.  The mourning rituals were a complete pandemonium. Wailing women would  aibironikin kwap (hurl themselves violently and repeatedly on the ground). Close female relatives of a deceased, such as wives, sisters and daughters, had to be physically restrained from harming themselves. Some men as well would wail as they paced around the compound, uttering heart-wrenching lamentations.

The rest of the mourners would chorus words of lamentations creating a cacophony of sorrowful music. Hardly a face would be left dry.

Perhaps due to the trauma of the occasion, Abuin went into labour. She was rushed to Soroti hospital, 30 kilometres way. The birth was, however, not like any she had had before. Abuin bled heavily after delivering. For some two days both mother and baby boy were struggling for their lives. Abuin was too weak to breastfeed immediately. The baby was put on infant formula. Eventually the bleeding stopped. Abuin regained some strength and was discharged back home to Wera. She insisted on starting to breastfeed her son, until the milk came slowly.

Still it was a wait-and-see affair for the family. The child’s survival hung in balance. He was not even named immediately. Eventually first born Onapito came home from for university vacation to find an unnamed baby brother. He decided the young one too should be named Onapito like him.  His wish coincided with that of the father who too wanted the baby named Onapito because he wanted him to be the last with Abuin. The choice of father and son Onapito to have Onapito111 in the family was very unusual in traditional Teso.  No two children of the same mother would normally be named after the father.  The then little Onapito, is today known fully as Onapito-Ekomoloit.

Until the time of researching for this tribute to his mother, Onapito-Ekomoloit did not actually know about the dramatic and near tragic circumstances surrounding his birth. With family records lost during the insurgency in Teso against President Yoweri Museveni in the late 80’s, Ekomoloit did was not able to establish every detail about his birthday. The best recollection he got from family was the date as 26th April. It was accurate.  As for the year, the best guess that older family members gave him was 1968. This is year that got legally entrenched as Ekomoloit’s year, by the time he was in secondary school; and more importantly when he got his first passport. He is, however, now very excited to know beyond doubt that he was actually born two years earlier, in 1966.  Ekomoloit feels there is no better way to honour the near death sacrifice his mother made than disclosing this fact. Frankly, it comes with the risk of appearing to have been playing younger.  For Ekomoloit, nothing could be further from the truth because he prides in getting older.

Though Abuin was never the same after the complicated birth of baby Onapito, with time she recovered reasonably well. She and husband—contrary his earlier—even went on to get child number ten, a boy named Adakun. Indeed, there was no similar bleeding complication this time. 

Yet perhaps Abuin was stretching her luck too far.  With the arrival in 1971 of the eleventh child, a girl, worse post-birth bleeding set in. Moreover, it was a night home delivery in Wera. She could only be taken to Soroti Hospital the next day.  Abuin was admitted for a while, with a swollen tummy, apparently due to uterine inflammation.

Glorious End

With medication, the swelling receded and she was able to return home with a live baby. Nonetheless, it was a downward spiral for Abuin health wise from then on.  She lost weight as one complication after another set in. The family gave her around the clock medical care. Her first born Onapito and the well-connected brother Obado even took Abuin to Mulago Hospital in Kampala. The diagnosis seems to have been inconclusive, but the sickness centred on hepatic and uterine complications. With the benefit of hindsight, she might have benefitted from a removal of the uterus which could have become cancerous.

Abuin went down a fighter. She continued to inspire her children to higher education. She did not want them to be weighed down by her illness. Indeed her first born Onapito had graduated from Nairobi University with a degree in veterinary medicine. He subsequently went to the University of Pennsylvania for a Master’s degree, leaving his mother ailing. The third-born Okello was pursuing a telephone engineering qualifications at Kyambogo Technical College; the fourth born, David Oluka was in A-level at Nyakasura High School in Fort Portal; the fifth born also first daughter, Alice Acabat, was excelling at Tororo Girl’s School; sixth born George William Okanya was in Soroti S.S.; seventh born Joyce Ikwaput, eighth born Loyce Grace Asio and ninth born Francis Onapito-Ekomoloit were all at Angole/Wera Primary school. The last two, Julius Martin Adakun and Dina Acanit, were still crying by mummy’s side.

Abuin time and against shook off pains to care for her family for four years after the major illness set in. To the very end she was dragging herself to the garden to tend to crops. Her spirit was robust but the body was weakening. In early November 1974, Abuin was admitted at Soroti Hospital for what seemed the umpteenth time. It was her last. On November 6th, the younger of her children who were at home in Wera were driven in a neighbour’s car to Soroti Hospital. It must have been Abuin’s last wish to see and bless her children. On November 8th, 1974, Fais Nora Abuin breathed her last. She died in the company of her husband, son Michael Okello and close relatives.

And so there went Fais Nora Abuin. Gone too soon, one may say. She was just 43 years old.  Nonetheless, there is every reason to celebrate her life.  Going by modern education accolades alone, Abuin arguably became the most transformative figure in Chief Onyait’s household.

 Her first born Prof. John Stephen Onapito (RIP 1948-1988), Nairobi University, Pennsylvania University & University of Minnesota, died teaching veterinary medicine at Makerere University. He might be the only professor out of the family to date. The rest followed in his footsteps to heights of education in various disciplines:  

2. Joseph Michael Okello (RIP 1952-1993), Higher Diploma, Kyambogo Technical College.

 Telephone Technician.

 3. David Oluka (RIP 1954-2005), BA Arts, Nairobi University

Assistant District Commissioner (ADC)

Senior Assistant Secretary (SAS) 

 4. Dr. Alice Acabat Oriokot, Makerere University

Bachelor of Medicine & Surgery (apparently the only human doctor in the Onyait lineage)

5. George William Okanya(RIP 1958-1988), Soroti S.S.

 Policeman; Taxi Driver

 6. Joyce Ikwaput Nyeko, Makerere University—BSc. Botany; MSc, University of Iceland

Assistant Commissioner Fisheries Department

 7. Loyce Asio—Higher Diploma Educ. Kaliro Teachers College

Teacher/medical administrator

8. Onapito-Ekomoloit—BA Mass Comm. Makerere University & MA Journalism & Public Affairs, The American University, Washington, D.C.

Journalist/Newspaper Editor 

University Lecturer, Makerere University

Member of Parliament, Amuria

 Press Secretary to President Y.K. Museveni

 Corporate Director, Nile Breweries Limited

 9. Julius Martin Adakun

 Paralegal/Farm administrator

 10. Dina Acanit, BA, Makerere University

Early Childhood Teacher  

Oh what a life she lived and achiever Abuin was! 

May her soul rest in eternal peace.

May the memory of her pioneering achievements inspire those linked to her womb for generations to come.

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