When life hands you lemons, you can use them to light up a bulb.
After we landed in Nairobi, I made a stop over at the cockpit. Captain O and First Officer T were busy completing their post-flight checklist when I interrupted them. We caught up for a bit, but I couldn’t stay long because the crew was working, you know. I bade them farewell and caught the bus to the terminal. The adventure was only getting started. I linked up with a couple of friends who were already in Nairobi to begin our adventure. We were after all the proverbial gentlemen at large. Our next stop was was down East.
The journey to Mombasa from Nairobi was a long one, a seven-hour trip on the Madaraka Express train nearly five hundred kilometers far. We booked business class tickets to get a premium travel experience. It turned out that I had too many expectations. Aside from being the first to board the train, the fairly spacious carriage and access to a dining lounge, the experience was underwhelming. Not even a complementary bottle of water was provided. Somehow, I thought we would get the Eurostar Train type treatment but alas! Still, we were determined not to let anything come between us and our adventure.
As we rode through Tsavo National Park, I kept looking out for the infamous man-eaters that had terrorized the Indian Coolies who built the first railway line around 1901. Those must have been a bunch of really Able-Bodied lions, I thought to myself. Although I kept looking out the window, I had zero luck spotting any man-eating felines. So much for a business class experience.

“Look, zebras! Did anyone see the zebras?” I shouted with excitement as the train sped past. I was sure I had seen zebras under a tree somewhere, but my co-adventurers dismissed my sightings as a figment of my imagination. Long into the journey, as the sun was beginning to set, I spotted a herd elephants flapping their ears as they strolled majestically. This time it was for real.
Two hours before we arrived at our destination, I called the manager to make sure everything was in order and that he was ready for us. I had to confirm because we made some last minute changes to the booking specifications. “We are ready for you. See you when you get here,” Ronald the home manager re-assured me. I had seen the place online and it looked exquisite, modern and cozy, complete with tall coconut trees in the compound and an infinity pool overseeing the turquoise ocean. The ratings were convincing too. Everything looked perfect. We were ready to get some sun on our skins and soak in the pool while sipping fancy drinks with tiny umbrellas.
After seven hours on the train we finally arrived at the Mombasa train terminus. It didn’t take us long to find a ride to Shanzu. It was almost 10PM and a bit chilly since it had rained before we arrived.

“Karibuni Mombasa!” Our cab driver was loud and welcoming. Juma was chatty in a good way. He told us about his family and how he had many children. Actually, he wasn’t done having children; he was looking for another wife.
“It is bad omen to ask an African man how many children he has. We don’t count children.” He then appropriately quoted a scripture from the Bible about being fruitful, multiplying and subduing the earth. Juma kept us so entertained that we didn’t realize how much time we spent on the road. An hour had flown by. We would have arrived at our final destination faster if it wasn’t for the bad road. Trailers heavy-laden with cargo from the port left the road warped and cratered.
When we arrived at the gate in Shanzu I called Ronald to confirm if we were in the right place. As we pulled into the driveway, something seemed fishy. The place was dimly lit and I wondered if we really were at the right place. I couldn’t quite put a pulse to what seemed amiss. I called Ronald one more time to confirm and as I looked out of the cab window, I could see a phone lighting in the dark. It was Ronald. As we pulled in front of the house, he welcomed us and helped to offload our bags. Before I said good bye to Juma, I took his number just incase I needed a guide. We had become acquaintances. “Won’t you give me an extra 100 bob, to appreciate my services?” A forced tip! All the entertainment and stories weren’t going to be for free. After mumbling, we reluctantly gave him the money.
“You know, there are better places around here. I could take you if you are interested,” Juma said before leaving.
Bingo. A light bulb went off. There was a telling look on Juma’s face. What did he know about this place that we didn’t? I could hear a master caution warning alarm in my head. But I was so exhausted. I just needed to get into my bed and call it a night. We followed Ronald as he wheeled our bags to the house which was a storied building. He stopped and pulled out a bunch of keys from his pocket. Thankfully we were booked on the ground floor.
As Ronald opened the door I couldn’t wait to see our exquisite abode. The anticipation was building.
Finally, the door opened.
“Welcome home!” Ronald announced. He had a big smile on his face that could genuinely make anyone feel welcome. When I walked in, I got a rude shock. It felt like some had hit me with a brick on the head. What on God’s green earth! The place didn’t look like anything I had seen in the pictures. This wasn’t welcoming and certainly not home!
I slapped myself on the cheek to make sure I hadn’t slept off and was having a bad dream. I was awake alright, I wasn’t dreaming but it was bad. How bad was it? There was no water in one of the bathrooms, the couches looked suspicious, the kitchen sink was rusty, the toilet bowls were stained, there was no hot water in the showers. Another bathroom had gunk on the door that looked like it would instantly make a bean germinate and flower. The door even looked alive. Ronald tried to convince us that no one used hot water to shower in Mombasa. Wait, what? Really? We weren’t buying his sales pitch. It had rained and it was actually cold.
“Let me show you the pool area and the restaurant,” Ronald said with a confident smile. I was hungry so maybe a sumptuous meal at the restaurant would provide some respite. Or so I thought.
The restaurant happened to be by the pool – which wasn’t an infinity pool and looked like no one had swam there in a while. It didn’t help that the restaurant was closed! It couldn’t get any worse than this.
By now, there was only one thing on my mind : We needed to get out of this place and do it fast. How did we end up here? This place was a lie. I thought about calling Juma, but it was now after midnight.
The first night was turning out to be such a disaster. I told Ronald we were not happy about the place and that it didn’t look anything remotely close to what was advertised online. He apologized for our disappointment and promised to come back and fix the situation in the morning, starting with the water. Ronald seemed like a really nice person, which up to this point was the only thing that kept me from losing it.
We had already decided earlier on that nothing was going to ruin our adventure. We resolved to make the most of what we had. When life hands you lemons, you can use them to light up a bulb. And that’s exactly what we did. We boiled water on the cooker for showering, pulled out our assortment of snacks and gathered all the covers from the bedrooms. We made ourselves comfortable on the couches and found a movie to watch on Netflix. We laughed our misfortune away and lit up. Soon, we had forgotten about our disappointment. Before I knew it, I drifted away into sleep. But I was up by 5AM to plot our exit from this place.
By the time Ronald returned to try and fix the chaos in the morning, we had found another place. I told him we were leaving and I could see he was sad. At 11AM we packed our bags, ordered an Uber cab and headed to our new holiday home in Nyali.

This time round, it was exactly as advertised – a stack contrast from what we experienced in Shanzu. Bee, the house manager made sure everything was ready by the time we arrived. We settled in, made ourselves comfortable and quickly forgot about the previous night’s drama.
This time round, we were truly welcome home. The next part of the adventure had officially began.
525 total views, 1 views today